Why Women Say “Sorry” and What to Do About It
Many women often say the words “I’m sorry” in their day-to-day lives. While apologizing is not a bad thing, sometimes there is no apparent reason for them to feel bad and/or the situation is not their fault at all.
Many females probably do this because apologies seem to be linked with the idea of politeness. Then, over time, “sorry” becomes a part of their daily vocabulary and they use it frequently during their adult lives.
One must bear in mind that this habit is not entirely associated with women. The affliction can be discovered among men, especially British men. However, there is a stereotype that only women perform the act of apologizing much more frequently.
The real question is why are women constantly saying that they are “sorry”?
There is no clear-cut answer to this question. One generally accepted theory seems to be that in order to avoid sounding rude, women tend to act in a less noticeable manner before actually speaking up.
According to 2010 research found in the journal Psychological Science, females possess a lower threshold for what makes up disrespectful conduct. Therefore, women are more prone to believing that an apology is necessary in common situations. They are even more likely to attach an apology to situations in which being upfront is crucial—for example, when they desire a raise.
This seems to be an unreasonable explanation. To avoid seeming rude, a “please” or an “excuse me” should be sufficient enough, but a “sorry” appears to be a little extreme
The funny thing is that there are more unapologetically powerful female figures now, yet the exhaustion of women seems to be increasing. Recently, an episode of Inside Amy Schumer featured the desire for women to constantly apologize, even for the most trivial of things. In the sketch, successful women on a panel apologize for little things, such as being allergic to caffeine, but then it escalates into the women apologizing for their nerve to exist in the first place. The difference between what those females provide to society and how they behave within it is quite jarring . . . and an entertaining sketch quickly makes a cultural point.
All of this does not mean that men are rude and unapologetic and that women are not, but, rather that something odd is occurring in female behavior and it cannot be summed up by instinctual politeness. Perhaps all this apologizing is meant to convey frustration at needing to ask for what should have already been made available. Women do utilize “sorry” when the circumstances are obviously not their fault, but they believe an apology will push the other person to apologize instead.
For instance, when there is a loud party during a weeknight, a woman may say to her neighbor, “I’m sorry, but would you please turn down the music?” She says “sorry” so that other person will do what they should have doing in the first place. In addition, the woman is not being low-key about it, either, which is promising. Although this type of apologizing is commanding, it is not really direct. The “sorry” comes off as passive-aggressive, which is relatively easy to ignore.
Hence, women need to step up their game. They need to stop saying “sorry.” It is not what females are saying that is the issue, but what they are not saying. All this apologizing is wasting time that could have been spent creating intelligent sentences, which could correctly convey different females’ opinions and their desires.
According to the article “Why Women Apologize and Should Stop” by Sloane Crosley of The New York Times, there are a number of things that women should do.
It is critical for women not to feel badly about asking for an email that should already have been sent to them. Or for when someone bumps into them on a busy street. They should avoid using the word “sorry” excessively; only apologize when it is necessary. Furthermore, a female should not use the passive-aggressive approach. Instead, she should be upfront and state exactly what she means and/or wants.
All women should ask themselves this question before apologizing: are you actually sorry?